I am so grateful that today was the Sabbath! I needed church so badly. I needed to partake of the sacrament, to feel of the spirit. The adversary has been so strong in our home and our lives we needed to stomp on him and hard. It was amazing to me that as we were driving to church I could feel the anticipation building, the tears were welling in me already. The opening song was "Nearer My God to Thee" and I sobbed all the way through it. Hymns have always been a strong source of the spirit for me. I am sure that most of the branch thought I was nuts. I was able to compose myself for the rest of the meetings and enjoy the spirit.
Our lessons were good. Relief Society was about Joseph Smith. I have often wondered how such a young boy could have so much faith. I have often prayed for a fraction of that myself. It brought me back to a time I was sitting in Bishop Wood's office. I remember listing off so many things that had come up that I was struggling with although now I can only seem to remember one or two. I do remember clearly tho his response to me. "Sister Dawe, think of our beloved Prophet Joseph Smith. He was such a righteous man, doing the Lord's work in all things. Look at his trials, his persecutions. You are in good company." As we were reading through the lesson today those words again had a different yet again profound effect on me. I may be going through a different set of trials today but I am trying to do the Lord's work, I am listening to the promptings of the Spirit and doing my best to follow. I pray that one day I will see the eternal picture.
As a couple we fasted and prayed for more, continued comfort and guidance on this journey. We have asked that we be prompted to know what direction to go to help us with the licensing situation. To be honest I got nothing. To me that means I need to cleave unto my husband and follow his promptings and trust that he will lead the way. I know he struggles in this, he feels that he doesn't always hear the spirit. I hope that this will be a learning/teaching opportunity.
On a lighter note McKinley drew a picture in class of our family. She brought it out to me and said "Here Mommy, you are the one that is crying and me and daddy are the happy ones" I guess now everyone knows what really knows what goes on behind closed doors!
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